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Are you feelin' masturbated?

Valerie Deegan-Johnson BuzzBee come out and play Dolphin Wax Feelin' Masturbated Green M&M's Greenday Jackass Charm Soap

As some of you may know, last week the Mars Candy Co. was trying to tell me something.

I think Mars Candy Co. is trying to tell me something.

That being said, today the song “Come out and Play” by 
Greenday Offspring just magically (I may or may not have been consuming my favorite adult beverage) popped into my head. However, I could not remember all the words - no surprise to those close to me intoxicated or not. To remedy the situation of me not having a long-term or short-term memory for anything;  I did what I do best and made up my own fuckin’ words.

Today's whimsical inspiration came from a recent purchase intended to embellish BuzzBee soap just a little bit. See exhibit 1A.

 

Exhibit 1A. Please note the description: *Durable, comfortable wood handles. *Limited lifetime warranty.

Seriously?! You cannot hold me accountable for what my brain does after seeing this AND consuming multiple adult beverages.

Here is the end result verse after laying my innocent eyes on the above image: instead of “You better keep ‘em separated.” I came up with “Are you feelin’ masturbated?”

The moment those words were muttered from my mouth Mr. Sudsalot hid the bloody rum from me.

Damn.

 

Awe shit! Were there grammatical errors or typos? Feel free to snicker to yourself about them; I'm no English major.



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