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Deranged Experimenter At Work

Valerie Deegan-Johnson Absinthe Asparagus Pee Foaming Jackass Charm Soap Liquid Soap Spiced Rum

It's been a little busy over in the lab, aka kitchen, and in Ruthie's head lately. We have decided to add even more products to our collection!

This, however, has not gone without some classic WTF moments because LIQUID SOAP is on our (please read the following in a big booming echo-ey voice) "Things To Conquer" agenda. Yep, we have entered the liquid soap game. Foaming soap, gels, and hopefully one day BUBBLE BATH!!!!

This is quite the challenge with values such as ours: keeping our products truly all-natural including how we color & scent our soap.

In true Sudsalot fashion, Ruthie jumped in head first and attempted making her version of The Green Fairy Bubble Bath. Picture this... a chartreuse colored, super-de-dooper luxurious bubbly product that smells like licorice-y Ricola and packaged in a square glass bottle with a swing top cap. This is supposed to be a way for Jackass Charm Soap to pay homage to the ultimate adult beverage....Absinthe.

And here is a classic example of WTF?!

Ok, so the first attempt wound up looking more like Ruthie's #1 favorite alcohol, spiced rum. The comfrey infused water was a beautiful green before the potassium hydroxide was added. Not only was it not absinthe green, it absolutely sucked as a bubble bath. With hopes that we could salvage the 6 lbs (a bit of an over achieving amount for a first try) we hoped it would work grrrrreat as a foaming hand soap. After testing on the nearest available homo-sapiens, the overwhelming consensus was....it sucked donkey dick as a hand soap too. While it lathered incredibly, it left our hands tight and itchy. But, the remaining 5 lbs of paste is almost as fun to poke at as popping bubble wrap. Maybe jumping straight into bubble bath was a bit too much. 

Maybe we should try foaming hand soap. Ruthie can learn from her mistakes and reduced the test batch to an easier pill to swallow if this sudsy experiment turned out to be another WTF moment.

It's not so much as a WTF as DYTAWUSTLLU (Do you think anyone would use soap that looks like urine?) moment.

Yes. This looks like urine. To be more accurate, it looks like asparagus urine or a night of heavy drinking urine. Trying to salvage what could be perceived as a mason jar half empty of urine soap, we turned it into a mason jar half full of a lemongrass, lavender, and bergamot foaming soap.

It has been suggested we name this visual atrocity Penis Colada, which would be possible if we used fragrance oils, but we digress. If you are a fan of squeaky clean, this is the soap for you. Ruthie on the other hand, is not a fan. So, one must continue on the (please read the following in a big booming echo-ey voice, again) "Things To Conquer" agenda.

Oooooh! 3rd time's a charm right? Well...

This time we tried for a gel soap instead of a foaming soap. Everything was going just as planned, until Ruthie decided to help the last stage along just a wee bit. With stick blender in hand, the button was pushed. That tiny little blade worked its magic. And, voila!

A gel that is chock full of tiny little bubbles. Bummer.

With the swift addition of distilled water, Turkey Red castor oil, and Vitamin E(T50) soy based, we have magically salvaged our failed gel as a foaming liquid soap! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! (that was supposed to be a menacing laugh not evil.) And the icing on the cake is Ruthie likes it! 

Now, we haven't quite thought through which essential oils to use to scent it or what to name it. We can tell you that it will be packaged in a beautiful 8 oz. glass French Square bottles with a "for realz" stainless steel foaming pump (non of that plastic plated shit). We will also be offering 20 oz. refills packaged in a convenient stand up spout bag with a threaded plastic cap.

Not only have we been testing liquid soaps, but we have also been working on a "not your every day bath bomb".The addition of vegetable glycerin, an ass's face stamped on it, and a huge 3.5" diameter certainly qualifies the up and coming bath bombs as "not your every day bath bomb".

Last but not least, body scrubs and scented salt crystal sachets will soon be on our "menu"! Hmmmmm, just in time for the holidays. (yes, you can curse us for saying it. Feel free to curse us with a winter that does not fall below 30 degrees and is full of white fluffy stuff that never gets dirty.) 

Awe shite! Did you find a typo or 2 and a major faux pas regarding grammar? Good for you. Feel free to snicker to yourself. I ain't no English major and I tried my bestest.

 

 

 

 



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