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Bourbon Because Who The Fuck Needs Feelings Rocks Glass Candle

$ 25.00

These 12.5-ounce rocks glasses have been temporarily transformed into a candle for your olfactory pleasure. The potty-mouthed sayings have been etched into the glass then hand-painted for long-lasting viewing pleasure making them dishwasher safe.

The Coconut Wax candles are:

  • Phthalates Free
  • Vegan
  • Palm Free
  • Paraffin Free
  • Hand etched, painted, poured in Woodstock, IL

Directions: Don't burn your fucking house down. Once the candle no longer stays lit, remove all wax, wash & dry. Proceed to fill your clean glass with your favorite adult beverage. Enjoy the glass until butterfingers breaks it.


Master de Bater: 

Top Notes: Jasmine Sambac, Italian Bergamot; Heliotrope
Middle Notes: Vanilla Bourbon, Cigar Parlor, Amber Crystal
Bottom Notes: Cedarwood, Burgundy Reserve, Textured Musk

Bad Decisions:

Top Notes:  Chilled Whiskey Accord, Vanilla Essence, Lemon Peel
Mid Notes:  Vermont Maple Syrup Accord, Damask Rose, Amber Blooms
Base Notes:  White Cedarwood, White Tonka Beans, Frosted Musk

I Need A Fucking Vacation:

Top Notes: orange, coconut, bergamot, pineapple, lime, grapefruit, lemon
Mid Notes:  island air, cyclamen, lily, jasmine, kumquat
Base Notes:  palm leaves, vanilla bean, sandalwood, musk

Sweet Buttered Titties:

Top Notes:  Hot Buttered Rum  Accord, Tangerine Zest, Tangelo
Mid Notes:  Rich Brown Sugar Accord, Butter, Bourbon Vanilla
Base Notes:  Opopanax, Vanilla Resin, Creamy Benzoin, Toffee

Balls Deep:

Smells like freshly washed tea bagging aka a melody of sweet melon and crisp cucumber accented by hints of orange slices, violet petals, and fresh lily.

Today Sucks Donkey Dick:

Contains strong top notes of juicy lime and sugar; balanced with mint leaves and the tang of rum.

There Goes My Fucking Diet: 

Top Notes:  almond, coconut, cherry
Mid Notes:  strawberry, maple sugar, butter rum
Base Notes:  vanilla cake,  maple sugar, butter

S.R.S (Sperm Retention Syndrome):

Top Notes: Bergamot, Lemon, Orange
Mid Notes: Cognac, Nutmeg, Crushed Tobacco Leaves
Base Notes: White Woods


Top Notes:  Orange, Bergamot, Lemon Peel
Middle Notes:  Cucumber Water, Fresh Basil, Garden Mint
Bottom Notes:  Dry Vermouth, Geranium, Musk

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