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The Calm The Fuck Down Pill Taker Rocks Glass Candle

$ 25.00

These 12.5-ounce rocks glasses have been temporarily transformed into a candle for your olfactory pleasure. The potty-mouthed sayings have been etched into the glass then hand-painted for long-lasting viewing pleasure making them dishwasher safe.

The Coconut Wax candles are:

  • Phthalates Free
  • Vegan
  • Palm Free
  • Paraffin Free
  • Hand etched, painted, poured in Woodstock, IL

Directions: Don't burn your fucking house down. Once candle no longer stays lit, remove all wax, wash & dry. Proceed to fill your clean glass with your favorite adult beverage. Enjoy the glass until butterfingers breaks it.


Master de Bater: 

Top; Jasmine Sambac, Italian Bergamot; Heliotrope
Middle; Vanilla Bourbon, Cigar Parlor, Amber Crystal
Bottom; Cedre Woods, Burgundy Reserve, Textured Musk

Bad Decisions:

Top; Cider Brandy, Spiked Amber, Clove Bud
Middle; Tupelo Honey, Jazzberry, English Whiskey
Bottom; Tobacco Flower, French Oak, Wine Cask

I Need A Fucking Vacation:

Top Notes; orange, coconut, bergamot, pineapple, lime, grapefruit, lemon
Mid Notes;  island air, cyclamen, lily, jasmine, kumquat
Base Notes;  palm leaves, vanilla bean, sandalwood, musk

Sweet Buttered Titties:

Top Notes;  Hot Buttered Rum  Accord, Tangerine Zest, Tangelo
Mid Notes;  Rich Brown Sugar Accord, Butter, Bourbon Vanilla
Base Notes;  Opopanax, Vanilla Resin, Creamy Benzoin, Toffee

Balls Deep:

Smells like freshly washed tea bagging aka a melody of sweet melon and crisp cucumber accented by hints of orange slices, violet petals, and fresh lily.

Today Sucks Donkey Dick:

Contains strong top notes of juicy lime and sugar; balanced with mint leaves and the tang of rum

There Goes My Fucking Diet: 

Top Notes:  almond, coconut, cherry
Mid Notes:  strawberry, maple sugar, butter rum
Base Notes:  vanilla cake,  maple sugar, butter

S.R.S (Sperm Retention Syndrome):

Top: Black Myrrh, Dessert Brandy, Pure Cane Sugar
Middle: Blanc Wine, French Cognac, Rosewood Noir
Bottom: Spiced Tabac, Guaiacwood, Dark Frankincense

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